What I shared at church on Christmas eve

What a privilege it is to be invited to speak tonight. Exactly 12 months ago, I walked through those doors feeling really nervous about meeting this church community, but I also felt like I was walking on air because only a month earlier, I had made amends with God.

I always called myself a Christian as I had been baptised in the Catholic Church but to be honest, I had no idea of what it really meant. I just thought that admitting you weren’t a Christian meant that you were bad.
Besides, I had an anxiety disorder which prevented me from intentionally hurting anyone, so I believed I was living a good life and that would ensure that I would go to Heaven.

Yet I was afraid of death, and although I was managing what ever life flung at me, I was always feeling anxious and out to prove myself worthy.
The year before I became a Christian was a particularly challenging one for my family. I was under continuous stress.
Within that year, I had a new acquaintance, which was able to provide me with some escapism though her scrapbooking nights. She soon became a friend as we supported each other through some rough times.

Quite out of the blue, she sent me an email one day, cautiously telling me that she had become a Christian. I replied that I had no problem with that as long as she wasn’t going to try selling it to me.

As the weeks passed, I noticed a new spark to this girl and my curiosity grew, so one evening when I went over to scrap I asked her to tell me about this new guy in her life. Well we didn’t scrap that night; instead we had a five hour debate. It was respectful with her being a brand new Christian, but also hearty as I already knew many of the stories that had lit up her life. She even flung in the fact that it wasn’t like selling Tupperware, I didn’t have to buy it. Finally she would respond with Gail, I don’t know the answer to your question, but God does.

And she was right.
Over following days, God gave me some answers. Through people’s blog sites, old school hymns that would suddenly come to mind, and also through the bible. I had read the bible before, but this time parts were jumping out to me. I also came across a booklet called the reason why, and it had a couple of my big questions answered. Once they were shifted, the other questions paled into insignificance, because about that time I discovered Proverb 3:5-7


Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And rest not on your own understanding
In all of your ways acknowledge Him
And He will make your path straight.

What I now knew was that there was no good enough, in God’s eyes I was a sinner.

So I found myself in Gloria Jeans having my favourite latte, asking the Lord to forgive my sins and placed my trust in Him as my saviour.
There were no fireworks, but there was definitely a feeling of peace.
Looking back I recognise that God had called me on many occasions, but I had not answered, as it says in Revelation 3:20

Here I am, I stand at the door and knock
If anyone hears my voice and opens the door
I will come in and eat with him and he with me.

Life is so much different now, there are still the usual stresses and routines, but the anxiety is all but gone, and each day is enriched because I now am in a relationship with God.

So how has that changed Christmas?
Well last year all the trimmings lost their sparkle because I was head over heels in love with Jesus and like any young lass in love, I was blinded to all else.
However this year it is different. I feel completely humbled by God’s gift of Grace and to be honest all the traditions and trimmings that were once the whole point of Christmas, now irritate me because they are distractions.
To me, Christmas is now like every other day of the year, a day to give thanks and praise to God and to seek Him in all I do.

My husband, Mal then gave his testimony, and spontaneously, my daughter Rhiannon also joined us in sharing her relationship with God. I was really nervous and I think that came across as I spoke. My other two children sat in the front row. They normally would chose to sit on the couches at the back, but this night, they chose to sit with us. Rhiannon's friend and the friend's dad also joined us for the first time. It was awesome. I am so proud of every member of my family.